I'm tired of everyone butchering the power rankings. He's a set worthy of my greatness.
1. New England Patriots. easiest placement. fuck Tom Brady
2. Indianapolis Colts. Why didn't they blow that titans team out?
3. Pittsburgh Steelers. Weak opponents, but impressive victories.
4. Dallas Cowboys. It pains me to put them here. The offense is so potent that in this small segment romo made all nashvilles women pregnant
5. Chicago Bears. Introducing your week four starting QB Brian Griese.
6. Denver Broncos. Defense flies, the running game is great, and I know a girl who says Cutler is hung like a horse.
7. Washington Redskins. Portis is healthy. Jason Campbell isn't awful. Santana Moss I hope dies in a fire
8. Baltimore Ravens. Defense is still top notch. Kyle Boller could win the mayorship of pittsburgh for all he's done for my steelers
9. Cincinnati Bengals. Giving up 51 points was an anomaly. You know it.
10. San Diego Chargers. This was almost unthinkable in preseason
11. Green Bay Packers. Yeah I know.... Brett Farve just inked a deal with depends. Aj Hawk kind of reminds me of AC Slater
12. Houston Texans. Oh my god how did this happen?
13. Tampa Bay Bucs. Mark it down they are the 6th seed out of the NFC
14. Seattle Seahawks. I guess QB's who look like accountants just don't bring enough to the table. Also that Super Bowl win was no fluke. The D is soft and the O is softer
15. San Francisco 49ers. Wah? weren't they supposed to suck on defense?
16. Detroit Lions. Very dangerous wide outs. Also Jon Kitna is my second cousin, and he tells me that he saw Calvin Johnson walk on water
17. Philadelphia Eagles. I thought the eagles addressed their wideout issues two years ago? Oh. That didn't turn out well? My bad.
18. New Orleans Saints. Reggie Bush just announced he'll be a contestant on dancing with the stars. run to the light young man.
19. Carolina Panthers. Steve Smith is good. The rest of the team? They resemble my toilet the morning after 30 beers.
20. Jacksonville Jaguars. David Garard, good move guys
21. Arizona Cardinals. Larry Fitz is my Bill Brasky
22. Tennessee Titans. Forget about them trust me.
23. New York Jets. Is there anyone in the country who was shocked when they cheered pennington's injury?
24. Cleveland Browns. Thanks for the help brownies.
25. Miami Dolphins. Joey Porter looks like he has a little left in the tank
26. New York Giants. week ten headline. Introducing Interim Head Coach Kevin Gilbride. (if they pull Bill Cower out of retirement next year I'm killing someone)
27. St. Louis Rams. No pace equals last place.
28. Oakland Raiders. Is JaMarcus starting yet?
29. Minnesota Vikings. Wow they are really bad. Tavaris Jackson plays qb like he can't wait to be benched
30. Buffalo Bills. 1 first down in the first half...yikes.... What's the over under on the number of fingers that cripple can move? I put it at 3
31. Kansas City Chiefs. At least we know their players have active poll dancing futures
32. Atlanta Falcons. The D would be better if it had a couple of vick's pit bulls on the field. Also Joey Harrington is a gay icon